Potential and Realistic Limitations

This being the premier stain on my blogosphere, I suppose I'll make grand statements about filling up my bit of blogspotting with incisive essays and obscure trivia designed to elevate the intellect while adding that tingling feeling of wonder to it's readers.  But realistically we'll be lucky if I don't use this space for obscenely stooopid youtube videos that make dick and fart jokes seem like an evening at Albert Hall.  The best thing I can actually think of posting is the bean recipe I threw together for thankswivin's day.  I give you:

Honey Dijon Black-Eyed Peas.

(This recipe could be regulated by the vegan nazi police by replacing the honey with some sort of raw sugar, I would NOT recommend molasses because I've overdone one too many dishes with a bit too many blackstrap lashings.)

Soak two cups of black-eye peas in eight cups of water overnight.

Cook beans ( in 8 cups of clean, fresh water) on stovetop, first bringing to a boil for ten minutes or so, then bringing the heat down to medium low for about an hour and 45min.  I added 1/2 a teaspoon of liquid hickory smoke to my beans while they were cooking for some extra flavorflav.  Cooking beans takes forever, so if you think you'll be remotely hungry at any point in your life, get up and soak those beans right now.  Just do it, your future self will thank you.

Anyway, just before the beans are done, say fifteen minutes before the timer goes off, start the sauce.

It's a flour based roux gravy, which just basically means you cook some flour in oil, then add water and it gets thick.  This process goes pretty quickly, so you'll want to try and have all the necessary ingredients measured out before you start cooking it.  Believe me, it makes it 10xs easier.

Measure out:

2 1/2 tablespoons of flour

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp black pepper

2 tsp mustard powder

1 tablespoon of brown mustard

1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons of soy sauce

1/3 cup of honey

1 1/2 cups of water

First, chop up two or three cloves up garlic, then saute over medium heat in about three tablespoon of olive oil.  Cook the garlic until browned lightly, constantly stirring.

Add spices listed above and infuse the oil with them for about 30 secs, not too long, keep a'stirrin.

The trick to a good smooth roux is to add a bit of the flour at a time, constantly stirring so as not to burn it, while adding a bit of the water when the mixture gets dry.

  Just hang up the cell phone, turn on some CCR, or better yet maybe the Animals and mix the hell out of the lumps.  You can add more or less water and flour to the recipe if you are monumentally failing in this area.  Just make sure the flour does get a bit of heating up, or the sauce will taste kind of raw and wheaty.  You can use cornstarch in place of flour here as well, but use much less cornstarch, and don't add more cornstarch at the end or you'll get L U M PS.  Bad gravy.  Bad.

Okay, I'll assume you've been a good robot and now have a thickish spicy sauce stirring in front of you.  Now it's time to mix in the honey, soy sauce, brown mustard and vinegar.  Stir it up and let it get good and bubbly hot.  Don't let the bottom burn, so go a head and take it off the stove if your beans are done cooking, they should be soft and tasty by now.  You can take them off and drain them before you start the sauce too, if multi-tasking freaks your brain out.  Make sure you drain them before you add the sauce, then mix it all together and enjoy.

Yeah.